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Poker Emotions

Poker Emotions Average ratng: 7,2/10 1303 votes
Paul Seaton

Let's take a look at something that is important in poker: emotions. You are off the hood this time, but still read and be aware if you ever need this advice. As it is well known the one most important thing in poker is to pay attention to you game. Perfect poker players are always aware of their opponents emotions and they know how to read them. If our emotions and poker acumen are balanced, there is no tilt either way. The betting behavior can be deemed rational and normal, albeit with calculated risk-taking thrown in for good measure. When a player is on tilt, their decisions are poor and the outcomes are negative. Poker is a very emotional game, and when there’s money involved, you can expect that it’ll amplify the tendency of a player to tilt. This state of mind happens in any game format, from casual games to MTTs and micro-stakes to high-stakes. More importantly, it can happen to anyone and is the most common reason why many players lose their games.

Table Of Contents

Life can present many challenges, and mental health has never been more important or prominent in the public consciousness. Processing difficult things like grief, depression and anxiety can be a struggle.

Poker players are no different, experiencing many of the same difficulties as everyone else. But does poker help or hurt a person's mental state?

Two players who have thought long and hard about the effects that poker can have on the psyche are Ben Wilinofsky and Arron Fletcher. PokerNews explored the topic by speaking to both.

Ben Wilinofsky

Ben Wilinofsky was a winning player online before triumphing in the European Poker Tour Berlin Season 7 Main Event for $1,174,143 — his first ever Hendon Mob-tracked event. Having suffered from anxiety and depression, the man known on Twitter as @NeverScaredB admits that his name on the social media site is to project fearlessness. He understands that poker comes with a degree of mental exertion that is beyond most activities in life.

'Poker stress is unnatural,' Wilinofksy says. 'Everyone I know who plays high stakes is gray in their 30s.'

Wilinofksy doesn't put that stress down to playing poker alone. For him, poker was a form of escapism. It started with his grandfather teaching him chess as a young boy, then in later years he transferred to Magic: The Gathering.

When he found poker, he rocketed to fortune and fame.

'Poker was special,' he says. 'I could sink endless hours into it, hours during which my brain was too preoccupied to spin its wheels on self-loathing and worry. Poker was something to retreat to.'

With poker, even while winning, came stress. Every life has stress in it, but Wilinofsky recognized that the tension he felt playing poker was different. Even people with stressful regular jobs, he realized, usually aren't dealing with the sort of swings a poker player experiences.

Poker is a game of highs and lows, not just in financial terms, but in the emotional sense. From the unnatural high of winning a live tournament to the low caused by losing game after game on a downswing, poker pushes people to limits they're not used to in regular life.

'I find myself in a lot of situations where I am carrying unhealthy amounts of tension, particularly in live poker, where so much of what we have to do is keep control of our emotions,' Wilinofsky says.

Some would argue this is a benefit reaped by poker players. After all, who wouldn't want better emotional control and the ability to separate one's mood from outside influences?

Wilinofsky, however, questions the effects of this kind of mental discipline and what it's doing to him and his fellow poker players. Not only mentally, but physically as well.

'I don't think that kind of suppression is healthy,' he says. 'I've also found myself deep in a live satellite, and with a chip lead on Day 2 of the WCOOP $5K event, and both times I was under an incredible amount of stress.'

'I was shaking uncontrollably in the WCOOP. In the satellite, I was grinding my teeth and everything in my body was squeezed tight.'

Wilinofsky says he's aware of what the effects are now and how it will affect him. Still, it can be a very difficult stress to manage.

'I find, when I fall back into playing poker, I sleep poorly,' he explains. 'I'm more irritable... little things get on my nerves more.'

Such an experience isn't limited to poker. Recently, elite sports stars have come out about situations that have affected them, with Arsenal's former center back Per Mertesackertelling Der Spiegel in 2018 about a stomach ailment linked to nervous tension.

'I think the emotional swings, which lead to hormonal swings, are not something human beings are designed to sustain,' Wilinofsky says. 'Burying myself in poker as a distraction was a way to ignore the things bothering me. It maybe wasn't a healthy way to deal with those things.

'I just kicked the can down the road and let [those problems] fester and continue to hurt, like a thorn in my side. Not paying attention to the thorn feels better than paying attention to it. But it doesn't help you get it out.'

For Wilinofsky, putting off the self-loathing and worry felt better than feeling it, but it took him further away from healing the mechanisms that caused those feelings. It was only once he faced them that he learned to separate emotion from poker.

Arron Fletcher

One player who has found poker to provide a pillar of emotional support is Arron Fletcher.

Gambling emotions

The British player has won over half a million dollars in live tournaments, including a WSOP Circuit Main Event. Fletcher is a cash game professional most of the time. He's also an emotional person, which many infer to be a bad thing when it comes to playing the game of poker.

'I have always struggled with controlling my emotions,' Fletcher says.

It started when Fletcher was nine years old and his mother died. Fletcher turned to computer games as a distraction, using them to focus attention away from his feelings. He was raised by his father and his grandparents and had an extra special relationship with his 'nan.'

After spending eighteen months in Australia in his early twenties, he returned home to devastation.

'I lost the closest person to me,' he recounts. 'My nan unexpectedly died. This was the most emotionally testing time of my life. I struggled to get out of bed, not leaving my house for weeks.'

Feeling unstable, struggling with grief and with limited work choices, Fletcher decided to invest all of his time in playing poker, studying and playing the game as much as he could.

'I would absolutely discourage anyone from attempting this,' he says. 'Poker is psychologically tough. My entitlement was at an all-time high and I was extremely emotionally fragile. I was unable to deal with disappointments and bad beats as well as you need to.'

Poker Player Emotions

'Despite this, I was obsessed and spent all of my time playing.'

Tilt was a huge problem for Fletcher. Emotions were an issue. Fletcher knew he needed to change from using poker as merely a distraction. He was aware that he was playing to keep occupied rather than dealing with the problem.

Eventually, Fletcher met a man who would turn out to become a lifelong friend: Frank Bastow, a business owner, recreational player, and passionate positivity advocate. He's also a self-help book author of Don't Be A Cant: A Manual for Happiness.

'He kindly took the time to show me what I could do with a better mentality, what was holding me back, and what I could do to improve my situation,' Fletcher says. 'I met him at a crucial time in my life.'

Fletcher felt armed with new information and was using it to improve everything.

'I started to reduce negative emotion and became calm, rational and methodical in my approach,' he says. 'I stopped using poker as something to distract me from the pain of the loss of my mother and grandmother and started to play as an occupation.'

Fletcher later began coaching and hypnotherapy with legendary therapist Elliot Roe. He credits him with a huge amount of assistance, and he's even turning around and trying to help others apply those same principles.

'[Roe] has helped me tremendously,' Fletcher says. 'This is the first time in my life I would face my emotional problems instead of distracting myself. Now I take time to coach and invest in other people, particularly in the mental game aspect of poker, which I struggled with for many years.'

Being able to strip down the emotion from his game play helped Fletcher achieve peace with his past, and he learned a lot in life while spending time at the felt. For Wilinofsky, poker was an outlet that exacerbated some of his worst tendencies, something he had to overcome in order to keep having success.

Both men became their better selves in some part thanks to the changes poker made to their lives. In a world where escapism is part of aspiration, poker continues to offer some people who have issues away from the table tools to work through them on and off the felt, thereby helping them become healthier versions of themselves in the process.

  • Tags

    cash game strategytournament strategyBen WilinofskyArron Fletchermental gamepsychologytilt
  • Related Players

    Ben WilinofskyArron Fletcher
15:15
07 Mar

Love and hate are among the strongest emotions and the poker world evokes its fair share of them both. Today it’s the latter we’re going to focus on, with a top 5 countdown of poker’s most hated personalities..
Of course ‘hate’ is a strong word - perhaps you’ll agree with the list but want to replace ‘hate’ with ‘dislike’ or ‘annoying’, or even intensely annoying - which brings us to our first player in the list…

5. William Kassouf

“You’re a bully, it’s rude, it’s mean – it’s not called speech-play, it’s called being a bad person! You should really check yourself, check your privilege!”

Many of you will instantly recognize these words, and if you don’t, the video is below and well worth a watch.

The English ‘motormouth’ is about as jarring a player as you could hope to meet at the tables… Kassouf aiming a never-ending stream of ‘verbals’ at everyone and no-one.

It’s not unusual that someone likes the sound of his own voice, but Kassouf’s “Nine high like a boss!” antics have often crossed the line between banter and bullying, with his 2016 WSOP deep run and exit going viral.

Having already been pulled up several times for his notorious ‘speechplay’, the showdown with Griffin Benger was the final straw.
The infamous “Check your privilege!” hand saw Kassouf exit in a kings vs aces blow-up that has gone down in poker history.

Poker Emotions

4. Daniel Negreanu

You can’t keep everyone happy all of the time, and Negreanu, as well as our next A-lister poker legend, Phil Hellmuth, it’s a polarising personality that bags them spots on this list.

Both men evoke ‘love’em or loathe’em’ tags to go with their hold’em prowess, but the reasons differ, of course, with DNegs’ politics being the main reason for his haters to go ape. A firm anti-Trumper, Negreanu even took out US citizenship in 2016 to vote against the now-former President.

For a number of poker players, it was DNegs’ PokerStars ambassadorship role that riled them, the infamous ‘more rake is better’ row with Doug Polk, and before that his wavering stance on the SuperNova Elite issue.

For many, of course, Daniel is still their favourite poker player of all time, which can also be said for our next pro on the ‘hate list’…

Poker game emotions


3. Phil Hellmuth

As with Daniel, so with Phil, the Poker Brat bringing his own special brand to the table – one that is equal parts ego, self-belief, annoyance, and skill.

You don’t get a nickname like Poker Brat without good reason, and his “Honey, did you see what he called me with?” line of disbelief has often descended into anger and insults.

In his ego-filled fashion, he claimed his book, ‘Positivity’, would “help maybe tens of millions of people”, and as the run-up to his highstakes feud match with Negreanu have shown, Phil can never quite believe it when others dismiss or overlook his record.

2. Annie Duke

Deciding on the top two was a bit of a coin-toss, as both (or all) for various reasons give excellent reasons for their detractors to boo them out of town.

So, Annie Duke, the sister of Howard 'The Professor' Lederer who we shall meet shortly, and one of the main players (co-founder and Commissioner) behind the failed Epic Poker League. Duke got paid while the players got short-changed on a $1million freeroll.

Allegedly nicknamed ‘Annie Puke’ by Vegas dealers, and described as a “fucking cunt” by Daniel Negreanu, she was also a spokesperson for Ultimate Bet, which had erupted in scandal in 2008, although Duke walked away unscathed.

What seems to anger the poker community more than even these incidents, however, is her re-invention as a public speaker, with Duke called upon as some kind of poker expert by the mainstream media, completely failing to acknowledge her dodgy and dubious past.


1. Chris Ferguson/Howard Lederer/Ray Bitar/FTP

Poker Emoticons

Taking top spot has to be the trio of worthies behind the Full Tilt Poker scandal, Chris ‘Jesus’ Ferguson, Howard 'The Professor’ Lederer and CEO of the online poker, Ray Bitar.

Who exactly did what, and who was responsible for what when the site went belly up to the tune of $440million has never been fully clarified, but we do know that the players were the victims.

Once the most successful poker site of all, when Black Friday hit in April of 2011, however, the glory days turned to dust – Full Tilt Poker’s bosses suddenly unable to meet player withdrawals.

It transpired that player funds had not been kept separate, effectively being used to fund the lavish bonuses and lifestyles that the trio had become used to.

The failure to reveal what really happened, and apologise for their parts in it, have seen Ferguson and Lederer held as pariahs by the community.

Business specialist Tom ‘BizDoc’ Ellsworth, put it quite succinctly:

Gambling Emotions

“Founder greed is not unique to online poker…but when you see it, it really makes you sick.”

Well, there you have it, the top 5 rundown of poker’s least loved legends. Did we miss someone? Disagree with our list? Let us know in the comments…

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